


Taste Death

by ElizabethWilde



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 05:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethWilde/pseuds/ElizabethWilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riley can't take it anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taste Death

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics used come from Splender's "Spin," which is amazing. I recommend listening to the song while reading, honestly.

There was a bright light  
But it was an off white

I'm caught in a landslide  
I'm caught in a joyride  
As my blood  
Begins to thin...

Well you had a hard day   
Of pushing me away  
Please don't push  
I fall easily

It's not like I care  
It's not like I'm bleeding  
Or numb everywhere

It hurt a little at first. Just a little. Not as much as the first time. A pang, then the pull of having my life drained. It hurt, but it was amazing. There was pleasure in the pain. The physical feeling of self-destruction. I wanted it. I welcomed it. I needed it.

Then the pleasure ebbed and the pain grew. I didn't stop. I didn't want it to stop. The cold, voluptuous body on top of mine was so strong but so fragile. With a flick of my wrist, I could have plunged a stake through her heart and ended her life. Instead I invited her to end mine with my submission.

There was so much pain inside. Everyone I held so tight to, depended on to keep my own sanity, seemed to be gone. Professor Walsh dead, the same of so many I knew, so many friends. Forest dead by my hand. My post lost because I couldn't conform anymore, my future gone with it. Buffy lost in her mother, in Dawn, in learning who she is. I worried that she didn't love me. I know now. I know she doesn't watch me the way I watch her or worry for me like I do. 

I'm not sure how long I've been doing this. It's blurring together. There is no distinction in time any longer. Feverish days spent weak and half-aware at Buffy's side followed by nights like this one.

But not like this one. This is the last night. I decided that before she ever came up to me. I knew she would be the last, and I knew I wasn't strong enough mentally or physically to fight anymore. The last one. I knew as the pain grew to unbelievable intensity, the puncture wounds in my neck gaping maws of torture. I could feel the pull deepening. Or maybe it was growing weaker along with me. 

I felt her moving away and would have protested if I had any voice left. I would have reached for death. A voice next to my ear whispered, "Do you want eternity? I can make you immortal..."

I think I managed a derisive laugh. But I might just have wanted to. I can't be sure. I knew life was the last thing I wanted, eternity be damned. Using any strength I had left in the effort, I whispered, "I don't even want now. Finish." And she did.


End file.
